I think we have all felt it at one point or another. The feeling that we aren’t doing all that we should be doing. That we want to give more, do more, be more. But sometimes life is hard and you have to back down and let other people run the show.
I don’t know about all of you. But I am a bit of a control freak. (I can see my husband smirking as he reads this.) So stepping back and letting him pick up way more than his share, letting my parents help out and our close friend Shawnta has been tough for me.
The Mom Guilt is taking over all of me, making me feel overwhelmed and defeated.
I picked up a contract job to earn some more money, so financially it’s great! But it’s very long hours, and I see my kids for a quick peak in the morning, and just in time to tuck them in at night, some nights.
I have missed track meets, therapy sessions, parent training, bedtime routines, morning breakfast, drop-offs, pick-ups, giggles….
I missed Spirit Week where the kids dress up in fun outfits each day, I took pictures each day last year, and this year- I have even missed out on seeing them dressed up. I was able to get my daughter up before I left for work yesterday to do her hair for Crazy Hair Day. Very 80s pony-tail and lots of glitter!
I missed Mateo telling Reuben a long list of all of the things he had done for the week to earn his allowance. He asked if he and Maya could line up to tell their Dad what chores they had done to earn their allowance. Maya went first, she said she “helped Mom put away the groceries, cleaned up her room, helped Dad pick up.” Then it was Mateo’s turn. He told his Dad (I hope I get this right, we talked about it over our late dinner last night) “He played at Nini & Pops house, went to the lake, played with his friends, went to school, put away the groceries, helped Mom.” YEP- MY SON SAID HE DID ALL OF THOSE THINGS- AND ALL OF THOSE THINGS HAPPENED DURING THE WEEK!!!
It’s amazing!! We used to struggle to get out from him what he did in a day. Just one thing he did at school. He would sit quiet in the back seat. Or say, “Ummm, Ummm, I don’t remember.” Sometimes resulting in tears. He remembered, he did, he just didn’t have the words. The fact that he can sit there and rattle of the things he did in a week- is just miraculous to me! It’s incredible! It’s amazing! Seriously, I am blown away.
So while I feel total Mom Guilt right now for doing what needs to be done, I am very grateful for all of the amazing people in my life who jump in to help make sure my kids get everything they need and more.
So no cute photos of spirit week to share, but I will get some tonight at Maya’s final track meet! I moved my schedule around so I could be there, so the Mom Guilt is fading a bit.